can’t hold back…

sayeth the big daddy kane.  the roots playing the famed radio city music hall in nyc, with special guests common, talib kweli, nas (!), and surprise guest big daddy kane.  good way to kick off emily’s last foray into nyc while I’m still a city employee here.  of course there are plans to come back to new york, just because we don’t think we would want to hang out in boston every weekend.  I digress.  the show was sick—I’ve seen longer sets at the house of blues in cali—but hearing live hip hop music being played at that venue with those particular guests was pretty memorable. 

and if you don’t believe in the big daddy kane madness, check the vh1 hip hop honors tribute here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wbVc60NUno

and if you’re not a big fan of common and the roots, skip to the 5:30 mark for some old skool.

**FOOD – what my extended weekend with Emily basically centered around.  hit most of the spots we had yet to partake in together:  café habana for the trendy scene and roasted corn, la mela for the little italy dinner, appetizers and dessert at Penang (chain Malaysian restaurant, but I care not), cheap and tasty Thai food in Brooklyn, and Vietnamese food with free carafes of wine near NYU. 

**FRIENDS – make the time in NYC pass by much faster.  in addition to em being here, Citadelle was in town from Cali, joined by Monica coming down from Albany, with Theo also in from Chicago.  eventually we all crossed paths at a Lower East Side bar with one of the Cerritos All-Stars providing the music, and Kat and Native Guns coming to chill later on.  big ucla reunion of sorts.

**FAMILY – the fam bam is coming the last week of June for vacation and to pack my crap!  uber-excited to leave NYC on that note—nothing like shopping with the parents in tow.  more likely to get stuff.  =)

**PROGRAM – as of Friday, urban fellows officially ended.  insert sad face here.  so my month as a consultant begins so that I can finish off my projects and pass on knowledge to my replacement (paid at fair market value, unlike the cheap labor provided by an urban fellow). 

**CONSULTANT?  REALLY? – though I am a “consultant” by title due to my short-term hire status, I find it fairly ridiculous that people my age can be consultants full-time.  what the freak is a recent college graduate qualified to be a “consultant” in and be able to make a grip of money?  I just find it comedic particularly in government—the only reasonable argument is hiring a community organizer to work in some public relation-ish position or filling an IT position w/ some computer whiz, b/c those skills are hard to come by on any level.  but why are there recent college grads “consulting” in government otherwise?  “research” skills can be evil sometimes.  folks can’t even pay their own taxes, and they’re “consulting”?  amazing. 

**yes, that is quite a bitter taste in my mouth.  think I care?

**”FACED” – the high school term that some folks in my program and I started using lately to refer to someone that was publicly insulted in the harshest of ways.  as in “wow, you just got faced pretty hard” or “DAMN!  pick up yo face!!!”  ahhh the little joys in life.

**BATHROOM HUMOR – funny things I heard while in the men’s bathroom at the gym (note:  Crunch gym has those floor to ceiling bathroom stalls that make number twos oh so wonderful and anonymous; reminds me of the Public Policy building at UCLA.  once you find your thinking place, it’s a beautiful thing).  by the way, these quotes are only funny b/c they’re coming from a bunch of white dudes.  if you heard them, it’d be obvious to you too.

GUY 1: “yo dogg!” 
GUY 2: “what up shorty!” 
GUY 1: “workin’ the chest today?” 
GUY 2:  “you know it, dogg!”

again, it was funny because it sounded so forced.

(someones iPod is way too loud and everyone can hear the beat)

GUY 3:  “yo.  YO!  what you listening to?” 

GUY 4:  “reggae.” 

GUY 3:  “yeah.  I thought it sounded like reggae.  doesn’t sound like it’s from around here.”

what the hell does that mean?  doesn’t sound like banjos and tambourines?

GUY 5:  “hey.  are you into seven jeans?  or some other pricey jeans?  or some like light colored polo shirts, or those trendy ones with the stripes across the chest?

GUY 6:  (deep voice)  “umm…not really.  I’m into casual, man.”

GUY 5:  (deep voice)  “umm… yeah.  me too.  (pause).  I was just askin’ because we got a new shipment in so we’re getting rid of some other stuff.  I can hook you up if you want.”

GUY 6:  “oooh really!  nice!”

from behind the bathroom stall I came to the conclusion that the first guy switched from metrosexual to alpha male in one sentence, and vice versa for the second guy.  totally possible in an NYC gym.

and yes, I was in the bathroom for a long time I suppose.

**MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND – was freakin’ hot.  not cali hot, but humidity takes it up a notch.  luckily by the time I made it to central park Monday afternoon to meet up w/ Nelson, Jo, Nicole, and Suzette, a light breeze was there to meet us as well.  sorry no pictures—it was hot. 

IT'S A ROCKY RELATIONSHIP SOMETIMES...

this long distance thing.  it’s crazy sometimes.  some days everythings fine, and some days I don’t know what to do.  today was such an emotional rollercoaster.  I was just angry, then frustrated, then optimistic, then jubilant, then depressed again, followed by confusion, despair, hope, and then joy.  I don’t know how much longer I can hang w/ this…

but my relationship with the LAKERS is too damn fun. 

<what were you thinking?> 

nothing like a clutch team performance capped by a kobe classic playoff game-winning jump shot on a Sunday afternoon w/ fellow UCLA alums.  bee-yoo-tee-full.

on with the updates.  bullet points, transform!!!

**JOB STATUS:  I’ve been requested by the big bosses to stay until the end of June if possible…I’d be under “consultant” status… meaning that I’d have to be all dorky w/ my IRS deductions next year to avoid paying taxes on it.  on the bright side, it’s possibly a couple more bucks in my pocket before I’m student status for the next two years.  and I’d make my own schedule! 

**I MISS CALI:  except when friends are in town, then I can pretend that we’re all just a bunch of tourists hanging out for a day or two.  Lauren and Jenn came by for a couple days in NYC – with Jo off for “break” and me saving a Friday off-day from work – that ultimately resulted in much eating, a bit of drinking, and good conversation.  always tell folks here:  I miss socal, but I miss people/family much more than the place itself.  but l.a. is still a no-brainer over nyc in the long term.

**Q-TIP IS A DJ TOO?:  and apparently he enjoys playing his own record every now and then.  though I thought he might as well have picked up the mic for a second and not be such a lazy ass, the loft party/open bar was definitely a good music session.  played a lot of tunes to chill and dance to.  only two negatives:  1)  don’t have an open bar if there’s only two accessible toilets in the party area and 2)  open a window or get a fan, cuz by 3am-ish it was like ass in there. 

**GRAD SCHOOL:  ‘tis official… heading to the Kennedy School of Government for the Masters in Public Policy program – class of 2008.  it’s pretty f-ing weird to me still, but I’m looking forward to the challenge.  as a student of color said in a panel during the New Admit day:  “I went to Harvard for one reason:  it scared the shit out of me.”  yeah I’m paraphrasing but I kinda feel that statement.  one thing that definitely doesn’t make it so scary:  Em’s gonna be there too.  yep, same scholarship, same program. 

I’m high in the most natural way.

To end...

Lauren admiring the spring bloom in Central Park (w/ me being artsy).

(l to r):  joanne, marlowe, lauren, jenn, roy, manu.

 next stop:  nat’l championship game.

pictures are worth a thousand words… this one says AAAAAGGGHHHHHHH! 

speaking of a thousand words, I could think of that many and more when it comes to remembering…

I am sitting here wanting memories to teach me,
to see the beauty in the world through my own eyes.
I am sitting here wanting memories to teach me,
to see the beauty in the world through my own eyes.

I think on the things that made me feel so wonderful when i was young.
I think on the things that made me laugh, made me dance, made me sing.
I think on the things that made me grow into a being full of pride.
I think on these things, for they are true.

I am sitting here wanting memories to teach me,
to see the beauty in the world through my own eyes.
I thought that you were gone, but now I know you're with me,
You are the voice that whispers all I need to hear.

Keali'i Reichel - "Wanting Memories"

thanks cyn.

oh spring, you’re such a tease.

after weeks of on-again off-again relations, it looks like spring may actually allow me to retire my obligatory NYC parka with fur-lined hood until the next winter.  then again, I’m grateful for any east coast weather that doesn’t require me to have one week’s worth of work clothes on me at one time. 

I pretty much jinxed myself last month for updating twice in one month thinking that it could be maintained, and here I am again in late March, updating the latest trend in its downward spiral.  I actually thought I updated before, but by the time I settle down from subway/bus commute, I forget the gems I thought of in my head.  damn you, inattentiveness. 

March Madness seedings:

#16:          COFFEE WITHDRAWAL.  I usually don’t give up stuff for Lent, but this time in addition to just being a better person I also decided to forgo the traditional Dept. of Education breakfast/snack/lunch:  STARBUCKS.  and I’m saving some money!

#15:  V FOR VENDETTA – was I the only one just loving the fact that they blew up Parliament?  civil war in America…not that ridiculous of a post-apocalyptic concept.

#14:  NEW OLD MUSIC – the beauty of the iPod mini is that it doesn’t fit so much music that you forget what’s in there.  the new oldie but goodie that has found its way in?  black on both sides.  something about actually being in NYC makes it sound that much better.

#13:  WORK – busy in a good way.  an actual, tangible way to reforming a system from within from the beginning stages…it’s a good place to be at a good time.  I could actually see myself working in an office like mine for a while—maybe it’s the corner cubicle by the window.

#12:  NYPD RIDE-ALONG – instead of the usual 2-3 hour weekly seminar, we were scheduled for a ride-along with the NYPD.  me and fellow cristina (PPIA!) took on central harlem.  nothing crazy:  just a false 911 call, traffic violation, and an arrest in the making (they can’t actually arrest anyone if you’re in a ride-along; they have to call another unit in to bring in an arrest) due to a moving violation with a suspended drivers license.

#11:  GREY’S ANATOMY:  yes I watch it.  its good tv.   

#10:  WASHINGTON D.C. TRIP – went with the Urban Fellows to a 3-day seminar in federal government.  the big lesson for me?  federal gov’t is waaayyy disconnected from reality.  the only positive is the folks working in certain think tanks that understand that and look to focus the folks in power on real issues.

#9:  WASHINGTON D.C. PROOF:

livin' the pretty DC life:  young professionals gettin' drunk on a weeknight.  what other plausible excuse is there for this?

#8:  ST. PATRICKS DAY in NYC – quite the experience, especially b/c I have my token Irish friend in the program.  Sean’s quite the chappelle fanatic and has a great sense of timing with his references.  anyway, in honor of his culture we had a crapload of Guinness.  it’s like a meal.  and in cali?  would have been just another day to have an excuse to pinch someone.

#7:  DAVE CHAPPELLE’S BLOCK PARTY – some ppl I knew didn’t like it b/c it wasn’t funny enough.  hello?  block party?  its about a concert… make the connection people!  chappelle is smart enough not to dance for folks.  by the way—his appearance on “Inside the Actor’s Studio” made me want to thank JetBlue for putting TVs in airplanes.  fantasmic.

#6:  NYPD’s def:  IRONY – same week I had this NYPD ride-along, I’m walking to meet up w/ folks at a bar for the UCLA afternoon game.  get to the corner of my usual subway stop and look down the street to see if I can catch the bus.  I see it’s past, so I reach inside my jacket pocket to turn on the iPod, then realize that I put in the front pouch of my hoody.  next thing I know, I hear “hands out of your pockets!”  freakin plainclothes cops in an undercover car are approaching me at the corner, asking if I have anything on me.  get patted down and told it looked like I was reaching for a gun.  where do you live exactly?  you have any enemies in the neighborhood?  show them some ID and they let me on my way.  now, because I remembered hearing there were some random shootings in East Harlem, I let some of annoyance and anger slide.  but yeah, still pretty irked about the whole thing.   unfortunately, its one of those fucked-up-but-somewhat-justified cases.  although they were definitely one ridiculous question or detail away from getting asked more questions from me, especially since this all went down in broad daylight.  ethnic stereotypes?  check.  police state in an urban neighborhood?  check.  thanks, 23^rd precinct.  you’re lucky #2 on the list made me forget about this a bit.

#5:  FUNNY PIC – this amused me.  let’s end on a high note, yeah?

#4:  congrats are in order for my HS homies Cheryl and Allen.  WOOOOO HOOOOOOO!  Go Bulldogs!

#3:  congrats to you for reading this far.  i'm surprising myself...and my leg is falling asleep.  fight through the pain...

#2:  pictures are worth a thousand words...

Final Four, suckas!  UCLAs a basketball school...check the record books. 

Currently Listening Black on Both Sides By Mos Def see related

the air is a wee bit nippy…and I don’t mean oriental.

holy buttered toast with sugar, batman!  TWO updates in one week?  whats the hells is wrong w/ me?  cold weather, that’s what.  makes you wanna stay inside and drink venti coffeehouse drinks and read and all kinds of stuff.  at least when you’re a semi-recluse like me.  worst part is, I’m getting lighter skinned.  I can feel it.  my shirts and shoes are becoming darker than me, and it’s a bit more obvious when I have a sip of alcohol.  also, I’m getting better customer service, can hail a cab much easier, and have taken a liking to mayonnaise.  LOL.  however I’m still getting “nee how” on the street, uneasy looks on the subway by the white women, and asked directions by tourists of color near my work.  I just want my brown skin back.

anyway…on with the show.

**hit up Atlantic City earlier in January on a random turnaround road trip with some of the Urban Fellows—from NYC to Philly to Atlantic City and back in 24 hours.  during a blizzard.  whoops.  quite the ride back to NYC…but Atlantic City is not as exciting as one initially thought.  it really is a gamblers town…like a city-wide version of those off-the-Vegas Strip kinda casinos.  I think I need to give it one more go in less crappy weather to truly gain an assessment of the city, but for now…been there done that will suffice.

**finally joined Crunch (gym) in January as well…only to find out only days ago that New York Sports Club offered discounts to Dept. of Education employees.  would have paid about the same either way, but the latter would have been more convenient me thinks.  anyway, feeling much more energetic and all that crap.  best part about Crunch are the punching bags and boxing crap in each gym…helps work out all the kinks, especially after a long day at work. 

**also finally experienced a NYC first:  social gathering at a crazy big-ass apartment.  located in the upper west side, my co-worker opened up her place (husband and kids were chillin’ out in their rooms) to host a farewell party for my other co-worker Carolyn, who had just left the office a couple weeks ago and was about to leave on a trip to Africa before settling into a Masters in Education program in the fall.  crazy mix of folks, since many of my co-workers were there, as well as many of Carolyn’s late 20s/early 30s friends, as well as other younger Dept. of Ed folks that I hadn’t met before.  anyway, apartment blew me away.  just a massive amount of space…kitchen, hallway/bar/cabinet space, dining room, couple bedrooms, then insane living room.  whew…a NYC apt like that had been an urban legend to me until now.

**saw Chappelle on Oprah.  I was completely and utterly waiting for the awkward silence after his “I got Oprah pregnant” skit.  anyway, I had always thought his humor was most definitely funny, but also very deep, whether it was intentional or not.  however, I wasn’t super sad about him deciding not to continue, only b/c I could imagine white boys comin’ up to him on the street sayin’ “n-word n-word n-word… you’re funny bro!  I’m Rick James, bitch!” and Chappelle like damn…wtf just happened.  so it was nice to hear him say that people were just laughing a little too hard while taping skits, and that shit just pissed him off.  and if you’ve ever come across www.chappelletheory.com you would think the Oprah appearance was quite an interesting turn of events.  it may seem pretty satirical and exaggerated, but theres a lining of truth I detect somewhere.

**I almost got trampled during the Chinatown Lunar New Year parade.  some wench behind me kept screaming “keep walking” at this corner that was blocked off by parade watchers except for a small stream of people trying to get across.  for some reason she thinks I’m standing in the crowd for my own amusement, then proceeds to push mansour on to me and me damn near over a stroller.  with someone inside!  so the lady starts whining about all these freakin’ people on the sidewalk that won’t let people through.  b/c the world doesn’t revolve around you, wench.  fuckin’ typical new york:  getting worked up over NOT A DAMN THING. 

**not to get heated, but if I hear how much more diverse NYC is, I might hurl.  subway makes the city better?  indeed.  why doesn’t l.a. have one?  umm… new york got a head start?  just a little bit…like original 13 colonies-ish. 

**why so cynical?  I’M KEEPIN’ IT REAL.  diversity goes beyond sampling fusion food and walking through semi-ethnic neighborhoods and listening to other tongues… hence the irony of NYC’ers calling L.A. fake and superficial.  same shit here, just waaaay closer together and kinda in denial.  don’t get me wrong, I like being here.  but I’m not convinced that one is so much greater than the other. 

**I watch too much TV; enough to have the 2^nd “I legitimately felt tears” television moment last week.  the first was the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air episode where Will Smith’s father (Ben Vereen) showed up and left him again and Will lost it at the end.  the second was the Smallville episode last week, the first episode after Clark’s dad dies.  obviously if you haven’t watched the show before, this doesn’t bother you so much.  but at the end of this episode Clark and mom are watching an old video of the dad teaching little Clark how to drive the tractor, and then waves bye to the camera.  great timing, pulling this scene out of their ass. 

**whoa.  listening to the news and dictator bush revealing that L.A. was a terrorist target in 2001, and L.A. mayor villaraigosa basically saying “HUH???!!!”  I hope villaraigosa calls jack bauer and they get to the bottom of bush’s bullshit.

**I’M GOING TO VERMONT!!!  see y’all on the slopes…pics to come I hope.

p.s.  yes i know those people in the pic.  they're Urban Fellows as well.